Russian Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team.
The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a chance."
The wrestler says, "Well, coach, when he had me down on the ground all rolled up, I saw a pair of nuts dangling in front of my face, and I just bit them as hard as I could."
The coach is shocked. "That's how you beat him?!"
"Hell more...

These Four Guys Were Walking Down The Street, A Saudi, A Russian, A North Korean, And A New Yorker.
A Reporter Comes Running Up And Says, "Excuse Me, What Is Your Opinion About The Meat Shortage?"
The Saudi Says, "Excuse Me, What's A Shortage?"
The Russian Says, "Excuse Me, What's Meat?"
The North Korean Says, "Excuse Me, What's An Opinion?"
The New Yorker, Says, "Excuse Me? What's Excuse Me?

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After five years they came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way more...

Well there was Three ladies there was a American, a Russian and a Blonde, Well the russian told the american that they went to space first, then the american said well we went to the moon first then they started making fun of tha blonde and said what have you blonde's did then tha blonde said well were going to the sun first.They said you can't go to the sun you'll burn up then the blonde said well we go at night!!! LOL....haha

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. more...

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness!
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ''Fabulous.'
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how more...

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None 'o yo' freakin' bitness! Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Both of them.Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ''Fabulous.'Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: How many can you afford? Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.Q: How many teamsters does it more...