Sack Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.
When he asked, the man said, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight."
The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack.
"Well, I'll tell you," replied the man, "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this here sack I'll give them both to you."

Wuz de night befo Crismus
An all ober de hood
Everybody wuz sleepin'
Day wuz sleepin' good.

Everbody wuz sleepin'
all tight in they beds
Whilst Thunderbird Wine
Danced in they heads

I was passed out on de flo
Right next to my Ma
When I heard such a fuss
I thinked "It must be de law!!"

I looked out tru de barz
dat covered my do
Spectin' de sherif
with a warrant fo sho!

Now ober de years
Sanny Claws, he be white.
But it lookin' like us bros
got a black Sanny dis night

Now what I did see
made me say "LAWD Lood at dat!"
It was a huge watermellon cadi
pulled by dwarf rats

Faster than a po-lice car
True de air he came
an whupped up on dem warf rats
an called emm by name.

On Leroy, on Kendrick,
On Jontarious Lee, on Falacious
They was a sight to see

He didn't go down no more...

One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.
When he asked, the man said, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight." The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack. "Well I'll tell you," replied the man, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I'll give them both to you."

COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE YOU HUMP
BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WACKER
DON'T BE SILLY... PROTECT YOUR WILLIE
BEFORE YOU BLAST HER, GUARD YOUR BUSHMASTER
DON'T BE A LONER... COVER YOUR BONER
WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WACK IT
IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
BEFORE YOU BAG HER, SHEATH YOUR DAGGER
IT'LL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER
IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN THIGHS, BE SURE YOU CONDOMIZE
TO SAVE EMBARRASSMENT LATER, COVER YOUR 'GATOR'
SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU CAP YOUR DICK
IF YOU GO INTO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP THAT PENIS
WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS N' BLOUSE, SUIT UP THAT TROUSER MOUSE
DON'T DO MORE THAN NECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT-WRAP YOUR MEMBER
BEFO' DA VAN START ROCKIN', BE SHO' YO' COCK GOTS A STOCKIN'
DON'T BE A FOOL, more...

A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.
A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread."
Then his daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my U-know-what."
The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mama was here she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"

A Pakistani walked into a pet shop in London and asked for two bales of hay
to feed to his elephant. The shop assistant said, "Sorry sir, we don't
serve Pakistanis unless you have proof that you have a pet. You'll have
to bring your elephant in." To which the poor man replied, "I am wanting
to know isn't it. What is this reason that you do not serve me?" The
shop assistant replied, "Because you might eat the pet food yourself."
The next day the man walks into the pet shop and confronts the shop
assistant with his elephant. "Two bales of hay please."
A few days later, the guy is in again. "I am wanting isn't it. To buy
a sack of peanuts for my monkey, yes, yes."
"Sorry sir, we don't serve Pakistanis. Bring your monkey in because you
might want to eat the pet food yourself."
Next day, he walks in with this huge grey baboon with a bright red
arse and demands, "I am wanting more...

If your favorite color is: RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should beware! YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire. PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, Purple more...