Sadie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?"She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning," He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black more...

Sadie: "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
Yetta: "Vell... I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. An like such a mench he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but such a beautiful car....a limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for a dinner... Marvelous dinner. Lobster even. Den ve go see a show... let me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment, and into an ANIMAL he turns. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"
Sadie: "Oy! Vey... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"
Yetta: "No..I'm just saying that if you go, wear an more...

A Jewish woman called Mount Sinai Hospital and said, "Hello, darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information regarding your patients. I want to know if the patient is getting better, or doing like expected, or is getting worse."
The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is the name of the patient and the room number?"
The woman replied, "She's Sadie Rosenberg, in room 412."
The voice answered, "Oh, yes. Mrs. Rosenberg is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, her blood work just came back as normal, she's going to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and if she continues this improvement, Dr. Goldbloom is going to send her home on Monday."
The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! Oh! that's fantastic, darling! Thank you for such wonderful news!"
The voice on the phone said, ""From your enthusiasm, I take it you must more...

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly calls her and urges her to get back into the world.

Finally, Sadie agrees to go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills.

Their first night there she undresses. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He is in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks, "Why the panties?"

She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. Her standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he more...

The yiddish speaker.
Sadie, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Golders Green.
She tugs on the sleeve of his coat and asks, "Farshtayn Yiddish?"
The man answers, "Yes, Ich Farshtay."
Sadie then says, "Vot Time is It?"

One morning, Lisa and Sadie decided to go out for breakfast. The waitress told them that the special that morning was two eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns and toast for £3. 99.

"That sounds good," said Sadie, "but I don't want the eggs."

"OK," said the waitress, but I will then have to charge you £4. 50."

"Why," asked Lisa, "it doesn’t make sense.

"Because you will then in effect be ordering a la carte," the waitress replied.

"Do you mean I'll have to pay for not taking the eggs?" Sadie asked.

"Yes," replied the waitress.

"OK then, I'll take the special," says Sadie.

"How do you want your eggs done?" asked the waitress.

"Raw and in the shell," Sadie replied.

At the end of the meal, Sadie took the two eggs home.

The accident
Maurice and Sadie were in a terrible accident in which Sadie’s face was severely burned.
The doctor told Maurice that they couldn`t graft any skin from her body because she was too thin. So Maurice offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his tuchass.
Maurice and Sadie agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at Sadie’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beautiful skin!
One day, she was alone with Maurice and she was overcome with emotion at this sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling, " he replied, more...