Sadie Jokes / Recent Jokes

The schmuck
Sadie tells Maurice, "You’re a schmuck! You always were a schmuck and you always will be a schmuck! You look, act and dress like a schmuck! You’ll be a schmuck until the day you die! And if they ran a world-wide competition for schmucks, you would be the world’s second biggest schmuck!"
"Why only second place?" Maurice asks.
"Because you’re a schmuck!" Sadie screams.

The Headache.
Sadie goes to see her rabbi and complains about her bad headaches. She whines, cries, and talks about her poor living conditions for hours.
All of a sudden, Sadie shouts, overjoyed, "Rabbi, your holy presence has cured me! My headache is gone!"
To which the rabbi replies, "No Sadie, it is not gone. I have it now."

Moshe wakes up one morning and says to his wife, Sadie:
"Aaarrrggghhh, Sadie! I've got a terrible pain on the left side of my body....aaarrrggghhh....I think I must have appendicitis!"
Sadie sighs and says, "Don't be silly Moshe. You're appendix is on the right side of your body!"
At which Moshe replies, "Well that's the problem! My appendix is on the wrong side!"