Salespeople Jokes / Recent Jokes
How to Hunt Elephants -- Sales StyleSalespeople don't hunt elephants but spend their timeselling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery twodays before the season opens. Software salespeople ship thefirst thing they catch and write up an invoice for anelephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint themgray and sell them as "desktop elephants."Sent by Alex
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
Mathematicians hunt Lions by throwing out everything that is not a Lion
and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will
attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique Lion before
proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. Professors of mathematics
will prove the existence of at least one unique Lion and then leave the
detection and capture of an actual Lion to their graduate students.
Quantum Mechanics Scientists spend their time trying to ascertain whether
a Lion is only visible when there is someone there to see it and go on to
design fiendishly complicated traps for theoretical Lions involving small
amounts of radioactive substances and glass vials of toxic vapour
(Schrodinger's Lion).
Logicians don't hunt Lions; for them it is sufficient to prove the
existence of Lions and Lion-hunters and an additional theorem which proves
that Lion-hunters do indeed hunt Lions (at least in theory).
Computer more...
I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.
How do salespeople traditionally greet each other? "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."