Sally Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc and finally gets around to their sex lives.

Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"

Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."

Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that."

"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand." The sky is definitely blue." "Thats not bad, Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red." Young Sally tried: "The grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally, but grass can be yellow or brown too!" Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up." Miss Brown does a fart have lumps?" The teacher was horrified." No of course not Johnny! What are you talking about?" So Johnny says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

sally's legs
There once was a guy who was walkin down down the street and saw a contest for guys to name
the new bar that was going to open the next day. He thought it would be fun and so he went and
named the bar "Sally's Legs". At the end of the day, they anounced the winner and it was him! the
man had won! he had won a free drink at the bar. So he went home and slept.

Early next morning, he went to the bar to recieve his free drink. While waiting for the
bar to open, two young ladies appeared and asked why he was there so early in the morning. Then the
man respones," I'm waiting for Sally's Legs to open so I can get a drink"

little sammys parents were out for a week so they got sally to baby sit him.when she got sammy to bed her boyfriend came over. and they wanted to have sex but they didnt want to wake sammy up so they said code names like
they were making a sandwitch:
mayo=fuck me
lettus=faster
meat=put your dick in farther
mustard=harder
so they used those code names all night... when sammy woke up that mornig he said sally why is there mayo on the couch and i herd you making a sandwitch last night i want you to do the same! please

One day Little Sally, may i tell you who always LOVES to wear dresses came running home and with excitement told her mom, "These boys at school said they wold give me $5 to climb up the tree!"
Surprized her mom asked, "and did you do it?"
"No but if they ask tommorow i think i will!"
"Dont do it all they want to do is see your underpants!"
"ok" Little Sally replied.
This continued for the next few weeks and each day the boys promised to raise the price.
One day Sally came running home crying.
Her mom asked what was wrong.
"When i was at school today i climbed the tree for $100! But when i climbed back down they laghed and ran away!"
"Well i told you not to do it all they want to do i see your underpant!"
"But mommy im not wearing any underpants!!"

Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad. Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?" Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man." Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods." "Don't be so silly, Sally said, "I know that. I went in the woods because I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it." Liz said, "I don't understand what you're talking about." Sally replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage." "So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Liz. Sally said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters."