Sandra Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sandra's wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready and she wasn't going to allow anything to dampen her excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother, Theresa, finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER!
Several days later, Sandra was horrified to discover that her stepmother, Caroline, had purchased the same dress. She asked Caroline to exchange the dress, but Caroline refused. "Absolutely not! Caroline exclaimed. "I'm going to wear this dress and I'm going to look like a million in it!"
Sandra told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind, dear, I'll get another dress. After all, it's YOUR special day, not hers."
Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Sandra asked her mother, "Mom, what are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it."
With a more...

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Justin," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Justin answered the correct airline.
"Sandra, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Sandra answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
"Now Allison, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And Allison answered, "Mom..."

Allen took his blind date to the carnival. ‘What would you like to do first, Sandra? ’ asked Allen.
‘I want to get weighed, ’ said Sandra.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel.
When the ride was over, Allen again asked Sandra what she would like to do.
‘I want to get weighed, ’ she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went.
Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Allen lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.
‘I want to get weighed, ’ she responded.
By this time, Allen figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, ‘How did it go? ’
Sandra responded, ‘Oh, Waura, it was wousy. ’

Dick and Sandra were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. Sandra said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"Uh huh," said Dick.

"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Sandra.

"Uh huh," said Dick.

"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked
Sandra.

"That's right," said Richard, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry,' It's too big, it's too big!'"

The item below was sent to me by a colleague.
The lady I work with at the Red Cross told me this today. In light of your up-coming long flight, I thought you might take this as a warning!!
Last Spring, Sandra & her husband went to Switzerland with a number of people from his company. The flight was 9 hours long.
A man towards the rear of the plane, not from their group, drank a lot, and then fell asleep... with his bare foot stuck between the seats in front of him.
The young ladies (from Sandra's group) were dismayed, to say the least, but were unable to get the man's foot removed. After considering several alternatives, they decided how to get 'revenge' for the man's rude behavior.
One of the ladies got out her nail polish and they proceeded to paint his toe nails a bright pink. In the morning, he apparently was still too groggy to notice the condition of his foot.
The ladies were a bit disappointed to miss out on his reaction to their prank, but took more...