Sandy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A. Sandy Claws.
Q. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A. Sandy Claws.
Q. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.
Q. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A. Ribbon hood.
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes.
Q. Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for more...
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Sandy!
Sandy who?
Sandy door, I just got a splinter!
Q. What’s red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A. Sandy Claws.
Q. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. What’s red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A. Sandy Claws.
Q. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A. So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.
Q. What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A. Ribbon hood.
Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes.
Q. Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od more...
Little 6 year old Nancy and her big sister, Sandy were at the mall, looking at a sweatshirt.
"That shirt is 60 dollars," said Sandy. "I wish I could afford it."
Then the shopkeeper comes up, and says, "Can I help you girls with something?"
"Well, this sweater is 60 dollars and we only have 43 dollars," said Nancy.
"Well, sorry, but you are a little short," said the shopkeeper.
"I can't help it, I'm only 6," Nancy replied.
Reviewing homework assignments, the teacher asks Sandy to tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its original size when stimulated.
Sandy stands up and says, "Miss Smith, I know the answer, but I'm too embarrassed to say it."
"Paul," the teacher says, "Please tell the class what part of the human body enlarges to seven times its size when stimulated."
Paul stands and says, "When stimulated by light, the pupil of the eye enlarges to seven times its original size."
"Correct, Paul." Then, turning to Sandy, the teacher says, "First of all Sandy, you did not do your homework. Second, you have a very dirty mind. Third, when you marry, you're in for a very big disappointment!"
Sandy McTavish was walking the Macy's basement sale when, before his
eyes on the sale table, was a bolt of the McTavish tartan! He'd been
in New York for about six years and his kilt showed it, so the need
was there, the price was right and he approached the sales clerk (you'll
have to supply your own Scottish burr).
"Lassie, Ey'd like a yayrd an a haf o' the McTavish tartin"
"Beg your pardon sir?"
"Yaryrd an a haf o' the McTavish tartin, I'm needin' a new kilt"
"I'm sorry sir, you'll have to show me the material you mean"
So he walked her over to the sale table and showed her what he wanted.
"Sorry sir, that plaid only comes in three yard lengths"
"Ya dunna understand lassie, I dunna need three yayrds, I need a yayrd an a haf"
"I'm sorry sir, you don't understand, that plaid comes in three yard lengths,
why not take a yard and a half, make your kilt, and take the other more...