Sang Jokes / Recent Jokes

I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird Perched on my window sill. He sang a song so lovely So carefree and so gay, That slowly all my troubles Began to slip away. He sang of far off places Of laughter and of fun, It seemed his very trilling, brought up the morning sun. I stirred beneath the covers Crept slowly out of bed, And gently lowered the window And crushed his fucking head

A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage." This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate." He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter." The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful." That's fantastic," said the customer." And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing. Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem." Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic." He unwrapped Chet's cage and showed the bird to his wife. more...

One day three nuns all died on the same day and went to heaven. They
met St. Peter at the golden gates, and he said" you know there is a test
to get into heaven?" The nuns were a little shocked, but said O. K.
St. Peter asked the first nun, What was the name of the first man on
earth? The nun replied ADAM, and the bells rang and the angles sang
and the gates to heaven swung open. St. Peter asked the second nun,
What was the name of the first woman on earth? She replied EVE, and
the bells rang and the angles sang and the gates to heaven swung open.
St. Peter asked the third nun, What was Eves' first words. The third nun
looked a little puzzled, and than said "that's going to be hard' ' and the
bells rang and the angles sang and the gates to heaven swung open.

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perch on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
And gently lowered the window
And crushed his freakin’ head!

Editor's note: It's only mildy amusing and may offend.. . Have fun!

I woke early one morning
The earth lay cool and still

When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,

That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,

It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,

Then gently shut the window
And crushed his damn head.

...............I'm NOT a morning person!

I woke early one morning, The earth lay cool and still When suddenly a tiny bird Perch on my window sill. He sang a song so lovely So carefree and so gay, That slowly all my troubles, Began to slip away. He sang of far off places, Of laughter and of fun, It seemed his very trilling, Brought up the morning sun. I stirred beneath the covers Crept slowly out of bed, And gently lowered the window And crushed his freakin' head!

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perch on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
And gently lowered the window
And crushed his freakin' head!