Santas Jokes

Why does Santas sled get such good mileage? Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Santas DiversionSanta was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman wasawaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know."Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear."OH Santa, won't you please stay?" she begged. Taking a long look, Santa sighedand delivered a not too believable, "Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presentsyou know."Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remainingclothing, smiled and said in the sexiest voice imaginable, "Oh, Santa, pleasereconsider? Stay with me?"With a very pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said very slowly, "Ho -ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know."And with that, he turned and left. Two minutes passed, and Santa reappeared, ploppinghimself down on the couch next to the more...

there are three santas 2 fake ones and the real santa
the first fake one goes into a hotell and says i need a room
the hotell clerk said we dont have any rooms butt a haunted
room and we dont rent that one out, the fake santa says
i dont believe in ghost's so when he got to his room
he heard a voice say I'M THE GHOST OF JEANIE WEINIE GIVEME
YOUR BALLS OR ELSE I'LL EAT YOUR WEINIE. the fake santa
jumped out the window. the second fake santa came in the
room and he heard a voice say I'M THE GHOST OF JEANI
WEINIE GIVE ME YOUR BALLS OUR ELSE ILL EAT YOUR WEINIE
and hejumped out the windom. then the real santa came in
and heard I'M THE GHOST OF JEANIE WIENIE GIVE ME YOUR
BALLS OR ELSE ILL EAT YOUR WIENIE. and he said "I'M THE
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST TOUCH MY BALLS I'LL KICK YOUR
ASS!

Why was Santas little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

a child went up to his mum and asked "whys santas sac so big " his mum replied "so he can fit all the toys in. his dad walked in the room and the boy asked "whys santas sac so big " and his dad said "because he only cums once a year".