Satan Jokes / Recent Jokes

Up in heaven there is a white picket fence. On one side stood GOD on the other side stood Satan and a few of his henchmen.
The devils helpers were kicking holes in the fence.
GOD said "if you don't tell them to stop, I'll sue you".
Satan started laughing and replied "You think you'll find a lawyer on your side of the fence"?

It was a slow day in heaven so God telephoned Satan to see what was going on. "It’s slow here too," says Satan. "Well," God said, " I think a dog show might be fun. Let’s put on a dog show." "Sounds good," says Satan, "But why are you calling me? You’ve got all the dogs up there." "I know," answered God, "But, you’ve got all the judges down there!"

This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I`ll choose this room". Satan says O. K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O. K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad!"

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ''What do you think about all this Satan stuff?''
The other boy replied, ''Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad.''

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys."Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that weve got all the good players and the best coaches.""I know, and thats all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "Weve got all the umpires."