Saudi Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pakistani was sitting with an Indian and Malaysianin Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer, when all of a sudden Saudi police entered and arrested them.

But, as it was a nationalholiday, the Sheikh decided they should be released after receiving20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "I allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

So the Malaysian guy thought for a while and then
said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through.

The India n guy, watching the scene, said: "Please fix two pillows on my back".

But even two pillows could only take 10 lashes before the whip went through again. Sheikh turned to Pakistani and said: "You are from a brother country, so you can have 2 wishes!"

"Thank you, Most Royal and Merciful more...

An Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on more...

These Four Guys Were Walking Down The Street, A Saudi, A Russian, A North Korean, And A New Yorker.
A Reporter Comes Running Up And Says, "Excuse Me, What Is Your Opinion About The Meat Shortage?"
The Saudi Says, "Excuse Me, What's A Shortage?"
The Russian Says, "Excuse Me, What's Meat?"
The North Korean Says, "Excuse Me, What's An Opinion?"
The New Yorker, Says, "Excuse Me? What's Excuse Me?

An Eagles fan, a Dallas Cowboy's fan and a NY Giant fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to DEATH!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought more...

These four guys were walking down the street,
a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a
New Yorker.A reporter comes running up and says,
'Excuse me, what is your opinion about the
meat shortage?'The Saudi says,' Excuse me, what's a shortage?'The Russian says,' Excuse me, what's meat?'The North Korean says,' Excuse me, what's an opinion?'The New Yorker, says,' Excuse me? What's excuse me?

Iraqi BankingAn Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check."That`s humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I want my money NOW!"The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head.After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money. The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, "Tell me why you didn`t sign the check the first time but signed it later on?"The Iraqi said, "You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it."

Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you more...