Saving Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and
came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My son, you
shouldn't be doing that", said the priest. "You should be saving
that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply
said "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young
man, in his early twenties came in.
"Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago
you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget
the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I
should be saving it for when I get married", said the young
man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said" said
the priest. "Did you take my more...

The President slips away from his secret service personnel one night and goes for a walk. He sees a lake and decides to take a swim. He is splashing around in the lake when he starts to have trouble. Three good ol' boys see him and realize that the man in the lake is drowning. They jump in and save him, pulling him to shore. When they got him out of the water, they realized who they had saved. "Gosh you're the President!" They exclaim. The President says "Yes I am, and for saving me, I'll give you the one thing you've always wanted. Just name it and it's yours."

The first guy wants a new pickup truck, so the President tells him to go pick it out.

The second guy wants a new deer rifle, so the President tells him to go pick it out.

The third guy tells the President that what he wants is a white marble headstone that says' Here lies a country boy who risked his life to save the President of the United States'.

The President more...

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, weve finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."

A small town hotel was abuzz about a wedding taking place that afternoon where the groom was 90 and the bride a young, 23. The groom looked quite feeble and it was feared that the wedding night just might kill him since his bride was such a healthy, vivacious, young woman.
Much to everyone's surprise, the next morning the bride came down the stairway slowly, step by step, clinging to the bannister for dear life.
When she finally managed to reach the counter of the little shop in the hotel, the very concerned clerk asked her, "What happened to you, dear? You look like someone who has been wrestling a bear."
Groaning and clutching the counter, she was barely able to speak, "Dear Lord, he told me he'd been saving up for 70 years, but I thought he meant his money!"

On the fourth day of their honeymoon, the 21 year old bride was begging for mercy from her 75 year old husband. Rather than endure yet another lovemaking session, she slipped out of the room while he was showering and went to the hotel coffee shop. The waitress, who had served the couple breakfast each day, was shocked at the woman's appearance.
"Honey, you're just a young thing," she remarked, "but you look like hell. What's up?"
"I've been double-crossed," the miserable bride moaned. "When he said he'd been saving up for 50 years, I thought he meant CASH!"

In Virginia a helicopter was cruising fast at tree top level when the engine quit, too low to auto-rotate, the helicopter plunged into a small lake where three boys happened to be fishing.
The boys who were at the lake saw the whole thing happen. They swam to the site of the crash, looked in the wreckage and saw that the pilot and copilot were both dead. The lone passenger was unconscious and barely alive. They pulled him out, took him to shore, and gave him artificial
respiration - saving his life.
Within a few minutes there were several helicopters circling the area and one of them landed. A guy got out who seemed to be in charge and came up to the boys, he congratulated them for saving President Clinton!
"Boys," said the man, " you just saved the leader of our country! You each deserve a reward. You name it, and I'll give it to you."
The first boy said, "I really want a pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
The man replied, "Michael more...