Science Fiction Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a fantastic and very long total eclipse of the moon last night, best seen in Melbourne and the longest period of totality for the next thousand years. The sky was clear and dry, the weather freezing cold, the stars bright enough to burn, as I watched the brilliant full moon gradually being consumed by the shadow of the earth.
I had the telescope out and I watched as the blinding disk slowly darkened and took on the ghostly red color of earthlight. I watched the eerie spectre slowly tracking across the background of the Milky Way, occulting several stars. And right on the limb of the shadow of the earth, just to spoil it all, you could see the shadow of some bastard in South Africa making bunny ears.
Robotic Arm Extends White Flag
The French space program took a significant step backward today as the European Space Agency announced that a much-heralded French Mars probe surrendered just moments after landing on the red planet.
The probe, which had been expected to travel extensively across the surface of Mars to collect and analyze rock samples, stunned the French nation by surrendering only eight seconds into its mission.
As millions of astonished Frenchmen watched on national TV, the probe extended a robotic arm -- designed to scoop up rocks from the surface of Mars - and raised a white flag aloft, waving it back and forth.
The probe then used a robotic shovel to dig a hole in the Martian surface before disappearing into the hole, apparently hiding.
At a press conference in Paris, French President Jacques Chirac denied that the probe had surrendered, arguing, "This mission was always intended to be eight seconds long. more...
Q: What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
A: The Captain's log.
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BONUS BAD STAR TREK RIDDLE!!!
Q: How are the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper the same?
A: They're both on a mission to Uranus to wipe out the Klingons.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it...)
MARS AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH
Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that' the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft'.
The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby desert,' bouncing' several times before coming to a stop,' deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases'. Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.
General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert were more...
Forwarded from a guy at MIT who knows this guy at WPI. Story confirmed by a co-employee who graduated from MIT. Unfortunately we don't have an e-dress for Mikey to REALLY confirm this, but then, who would make THIS up?; -)
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And so I get back to school, start my senior year, two research projects, grad school applications, GRE preparation, and the like. The year started off good, but that all changed about two months ago. Some of you (especially those at Berkeley) may have heard rumors of some bizarre accident that I was involved in. So here is the truth, unabridged, for those of you who actually want to know...
Around the second week of school, the society of physics students held a roughly annual welcome back party, and, as tradition dictates, we made our own ice cream with liquid nitrogen (77 K) as a refrigerant and aerator.
Things were going fine for a while. We spilled a little of the nitrogen onto a table, and more...