Scientist Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore.
One of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed.
The scientist says to God - "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you."
God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard feelings.
But before you go let's have a contest. What do you think?"
The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?"
God: "A man-making contest."
The scientist: "Sure! No problem".
The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!"
God replies, more...
There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore.One of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed.The scientist says to God - "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you."God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard feelings.But before you go let's have a contest. What do you think?"The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?"God: "A man-making contest."The scientist: "Sure! No problem".The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!"God replies, "No, no, no... You go get your own dirt."
Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living. "I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.
"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.
"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.
Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."
"A what?" asked the builder.
"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it more...
A customer walks into the brand new store downtown that sells brains. There are three glass cases, each containing a nice wet quivering gray brain.
The first one says "SCIENTIST", and it costs $100.
The second says "ELECTRICIAN" and costs $1000.
The third says "DRUMMER" and costs $10, 000.
The customer is confused, and questions the salesperson.
"I don't get it... why would I want a drummer's brain for $10, 000 when I can get an scientist's brain for $100?".
The salesman replied, "Because, it's never been used."
These three scientists decided to go fishing one day. So they packed up all of their gear and headed down to the lake.
They were having terrible luck, they weren't catching a thing. But all the sudden, one of the scientists feels a pull at his line. He shouts out, "I got something, I got something!"
So he reels his catch in and much to his surprise, it's a Mermaid. She tells the scientists, "If you let me go, I will grant you each one wish." Well they think that's a pretty good deal, so they agree.
The first scientist, the one who caught the Mermaid, tells her, "I want you to double my IQ." The Mermaid says, no problem. Snaps her fingers, and suddenly he's solving all of these problems they had been working on for months.
So the next scientist thinks that's pretty neat, so he tells the Mermaid, "I want you to tripple my IQ." So the Mermaid says, "No problem." snaps her fingers once again, and now this scientist is more...
These three scientists decided to go fishing one day. So they packed up all of their gear and headed down to the lake.They were having terrible luck, they weren't catching a thing. But all the sudden, one of the scientists feels a pull at his line. He shouts out, "I got something, I got something!"So he reels his catch in and much to his surprise, it's a Mermaid. She tells the scientists, "If you let me go, I will grant you each one wish." Well they think that's a pretty good deal, so they agree.The first scientist, the one who caught the Mermaid, tells her, "I want you to double my IQ." The Mermaid says, no problem. Snaps her fingers, and suddenly he's solving all of these problems they had been working on for months.So the next scientist thinks that's pretty neat, so he tells the Mermaid, "I want you to tripple my IQ." So the Mermaid says, "No problem." snaps her fingers once again, and now this scientist is finding cures for AIDS more...