Scientist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in africa. They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.

The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle: A white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"

The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."

The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side."

The computer scientist: "Oh, no! A special case!"

Robert Bohannon, a North Carolina molecular scientist, has come up with a way to add caffeine to baked goods. It's good news for caffeine addicts. However, Bohannon says before he allows the secret to get out, he owes it to everyone to develop a method for subduing an over-caffeinated Star Jones.

Three Jewish Grandmothers were sitting around, drinking tea and talking about their grandsons' professions. One was a doctor, the second an architect, and the third a computer scientist. The Grandmothers got to arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor's Grandma said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat."
The architect's Grannie did not agree. She said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So G-d must have been an architect."
The computer scientist's Bubbie, who had listened to all of this said, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"

Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff.
A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled "You are under arrest!"
"What for?" the mad scientist asked.
And the policeman answered:
For making an obscene clone fall.

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.
A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance.
The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 more...

Using a laser scanner French scientist believe that the kitten-ish Vixen Mona Lisa, may have been "with child" at the time she sat for the "rockstar" painter Leonardo De Vinci...Oh that Leo, always creating.
Still more amazing was that the scientist were even able to get the laser function to work on their "All In One" copy machine.

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY the idea had never been tried: they were stuck for someone to pull the cork out.One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a monkey to do the job, so they spent the next week training it to pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for another go. When the big day arrived they set up all the monitoring equipment and moved out to a safe distance.The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer. BBBAAANNNGGG!!! The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the second (2 miles away) was up to more...