Secretary Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you know if your secretary? s having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair.
One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they
rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon
making passionate love. When they were finished they fell
asleep and didn't wake up till 8 o'clock.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary
to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn.
Bewildered, she does as he asks (thinking he's pretty weird).
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.
Upset, she asks where he's been. The man replies "I cannot
tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today
we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon
making love then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and
says, "I see those grass stains on your shoes. You've been
playing golf again, haven't you!?"

Male secretary: "Feel free to use my dictaphone." New blonde employee: "No thanks, Ill just use my finger like everyone else."

After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary:
"Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those people were feeling bored!"
The secretary replied, "Sir, it wasn't a lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake - I gave you all 3 copies of the speech."

A Safe Bet, Bush Reassures Nation

In a bold move to privatize Social Security, President George W. Bush today put all of the program's funds under the control of former Education Secretary William Bennett, urging Mr. Bennett to "work your magic" on the nation's nest egg.

Recognizing that many retirees are nervous about the privatization of America's retirement system, Mr. Bush reassured them today, stating flatly, "Bill Bennett is a safe bet."

"I have known Bill Bennett for many years," Mr. Bush told reporters. "This is a man who knows when to hold' em and knows when to fold' em."

A beaming Mr. Bennett stood at Mr. Bush's side, the former Education Secretary wearing what he later called "my lucky hat."

He spoke briefly with reporters before boarding a plane for the Venetian casino in Las Vegas, where he said he would begin to implement his "can't lose" investment plan for more...

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She`s a lot better in bed than my wife!" Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!" &

SNL -Hillary Clinton discusses her selection as Secretary of State.