Selling Jokes / Recent Jokes
I think my wife is selling drugs! Yesterday I was running a little bit late for work and the phone rang. I answered it. Before I could say anything a male voice on the line said, Hey honey is that DOPE gone yet?
I just got back from a sailing holiday where I remembered this true tale
you might be interested in.
A friend was looking for a second hand boat (a Laser) to buy, when he
hit on a great idea...
At his sailing club (the Queen Mary in London) there was a large trailer
park and a smaller yard where the management put trailers and boats if
the owner didn't pay their membership for 12 months. The Queen Mary club
is very big and at the time there were three or four Lasers in this
yard that judging from their condition hadn't been sailed for at least
a year.
My friend took down the numbers of these boats and asked the club secretary
for the owners address so that he could make them an offer. The first chap
he rang said he wasn't interested in selling as he was going to sail it
himself "one of these days."
He then rang the second owner who lived about 100 miles away. A woman
answered the phone and confirmed that they did more...
Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.
Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agents hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have... Why dye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale... tis too good to part with."
A policeman arrested a prostitute, and the following conversation occurred.
Girl: I'm not selling sex!
Officer: Then what are you doing?
Girl: I'm selling condoms and offering a free demonstration!
Extracted from US news papers:
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In Detroit, the lawyer for accused murderer Rondelle Woods, 23, delivered part of his closing
argument to the jury in rap:' Went to a party, sweet 16, decided to stay on the scene.' Woods was
acquitted. But in Las Vegas in December, Eric Clark, 22, pleaded with the judge, in rap for a light
sentence:' I'm sellin' dope, and I as gettin' paid too blind to see how I was gettin' played.' He
got 23 years. - Universal Press Syndicate
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A Tokyo company, Juonsha, recently began offering a mail-order curse kit, featuring a straw doll to
represent the hexee, along with eight accessories, including nails, a curse manual, and a
curse-blocking doll to ward off return curses. The company at first marketed to boys and girls
bullied at school, but discovered the major market is women who hope to put spells on neighbors,
in-laws and more...
Elmer fud saw an ad in the newspaper for a horse, so he looked up the address and went to the home of the dude who was selling the horse. When he got there, Elmer asked to see the horse so he could make sure he wanted it. So, the old man who was selling it took him to the barn and showed him the horse. "Can I see hoer hoofs?" asked Elmer, and the old man said sure as he lifted the right hoof. "Gwood!" he said and then asked " Can i see her gawwop?" By this time, the old man was getting annoyed as he lifted himself on to the back of the horse and took her for a little gallop. When he got back, the old man sighed as Elmer pleaded "May I see her twot?" The old man was so furious that he picked up Elmer Fud and shuvved his face right in her but and smeared it in his face.