Senators Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

100 Senators == Not 1 decision

Among the many changes instituted by the new Democrat majority in Congress is how they refer to new Senators. Party leaders say they will no longer use the "derogatory" term "freshman" to describe first-term Senators.
Instead, in an effort to be more politically correct, newly-elected officials will henceforth be referred to as "not yet corrupt."

Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

Members of the U.S. Senate, that august body that is in touch with the common man-if the common man is a 60-year-old rich white conservative with a hot, young trophy wife and the moral fiber of a televangelist, has rejected a bill that would have raised the minimum wage from $5.15 an hour to $7.25 an hour. Good. Because as we all know, the lower class of our society has had it too easy for too long. The ever-vigilant Senators reached their decision after a thoughtful, intense debate in which they concluded the "average Joe" would just waste the extra money on heat, medicine, and education.

Then the session was adjourned, and the lawmakers were transported on chariots of gold to their mansions, where young boys awaited, prepared to rub the Senators' ghoulishly wrinkled bodies with life-affirming oils rendered from the sweat of wage laborers.