Sermon Jokes / Recent Jokes

The entire congregation came out to hear the preacher's first sermon. It lasted for a mere eight minutes. The next Sunday, the preacher's sermon was forty-five minutes. His third sermon was two and a half hours in duration.
The pulpit committee called the preacher in and asked, "What's happening here?"
The preacher replied, "Well, on the first Sunday all of my teeth had just been pulled. My mouth was sore, so my sermon was short. The next week, I had my new dentures and I was feeling fine."
The committee leader said, "But, your third sermon was two and a half hours long!"
"Oh, yes," the preacher responded. "The third week, I picked up my wife's dentures by mistake and I couldn't stop talking!"

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay..."

By the time the morning service was to begin, only one man was in the church.
The priest said to him, "It looks like everyone has slept in. Do you want to go home or should I preach the sermon?"
The man replied, "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I still feed it."
The priest took that as a yes, mounted the pulpit and delivered an hour-long sermon.
At the end, he asked the man what he thought.
His answer: "When I go to feed the chickens and only one comes, I don't give it the whole bucket!"

At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.

As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."

Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"

As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday.

The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday's comment about the sermon. The parishioner replied that he did.

The minister asked, "Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?"

The man replied, "Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire more...

A man who went to Church with his wife fell was always falling asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." She poked her husband who then came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".
The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ".
The Minister said "that's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to more...

A man who went to Church with his wife fell was always falling asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off.As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." She poked her husband who then came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ".The Minister said "that's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to "... and what did Eve more...