Shaped Jokes

Recipe for Banana Bread Ingredients: 2 Laughing Eyes 2 Loving Arms 2 Well Shaped Legs 2 Firm Milk Containers 1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl 2 Large Nuts 1 Large Banana Method: 1. Look into Loving Eyes. 2. Fold in Loving Arms. 3. Spread Well Shaped Legs. 4. Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is well greased. Check frequently with middle finger. 5. Add Banana - work in and out until well creamed. 6. Cover with Nuts and sigh with relief. Cake done when Banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl. N. B. If cake begins to rise leave town immediately.

Holiday Banana Bread:
Ingredients: 2 laughing eyes, 2 loving arms, 2 well shaped legs, 2 firm milk containers, 1 fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 large banana
Instructions: 1 - look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms.
2 - Spread well shaped legs slowly.
3 - Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased - check with middle finger.
4 - Add banana, work up and down until well creamed.
5 - Lower nuts and sigh with relief. When banana is soft, bread is done!
6 - Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but "do not lick the bowl." NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.

Recipe for Banana Cake

Ingredients:
1 bedroom
2 smiling eyes
2 well shaped legs
2 firm milk containers
1 fur trimmed mixing bowl
1 large banana and essence
2 anxious nuts

Method:

Go into bedroom, look into smiling eyes
Separate well shaped legs, squeeze milk containers until
fur trimmed bowl is well greased
Add banana and essence
Gently work in and out until well greased
Cover with nuts

Notes:
Cake is done when banana is soft
Wash utensils. DO NOT lick bowl.

If cake starts to rise....... leave town.

A young Irish girl is going to be married, so she goes to the local priest to get a few pointers on procreation and the churches views on family planning.
"father, i need to know a few things, for example, i have seen my future husband naked and there is this thing between his legs, sort of sausage shaped, what might that be?"
Oh, the father says, thats called a penis!!
A penis, she replies, what a funny name!! And on the end of this "penis" is a thing shaped like a firemans's helmet, what might that be called, father??
Smiling, the priest replies, "Oh, thats called the head of the penis, my dear!!
"that makes sense", she replies.

The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, " and about 14 inches back from the head of the penis are these two hairy round things, what would they be called, father"?
the priest's face changes from a smile, to one of concern and says "well for your sake, deary, i sure more...

Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?