Shopper Jokes / Recent Jokes

...a potentially deadly hostage situation came to an end after one shopper was able to call 9-1-1 for help...the shopper was able to give police detailed information about the situation. When the operator asked the shopper what she saw, she replied: 1. There were 3 hostages. 2. There were 2 gunman. 3. Toilet paper was on sale for $2.19.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

The woman is shopping for a bra, but she has an unusual problem. One of her breasts is much longer than the other one. The lingerie saleslady notices her customer's deformity and says, "I notice one of your breasts is longer than the other. How did that happen?"

"To be honest with you," says the shopper, "my husband can't sleep unless he has my breast in his mouth. That explains why one is so much longer than the other."

"How odd," says the clerk, "my husband does the exact same thing but my breasts are the same size."

"Yeah," says the shopper, "but I bet you don't sleep in twin beds."

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbedher purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman wasable to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in thecar and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the carand told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,"Yes, officer, thats her. Thats the lady I stole the purse from."