Shore Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three Women stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go more...

One day as a blonde was walking along the shore of a huge lake.
She spotted another blonde on the opposite shore.
She cupped her hands together and shouted "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde cupped her hands together and shouted "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on
the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

an ant was sitting on the shore with another ant reading a book. Every 5 minutes the ant that is reading goes to the water and dips her hand in. the other ant was fed up and ask why do you always go to the water to dip your hand. then the ant that was reading said because i need to flip the page

Once there was a blond who was waiting on the side of the road for a ride.
A truck came up and the guy ask "you want a ride" the blonde replied "yea!" so the blonde jumped in the back of the pick up.
They were goin over a bridge and the truck swerved off of the bridge. The driver manged to get out through the window and waited up on shore for the blond. 10 minutes later the blonde came to shore. The man asked "What took you so long" the blonde replied "I couldn't get the tailgate open."

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!""Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain't been any for years!"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer to shore he shouted to the guy again "What did you do to get rid of the gators?""We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got' em all."

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven... The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven." Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter' T'?" "Second, how many seconds are there in more...