Shore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a blonde who was hitch-hiking on the side of the road. Finally a truck came and the driver asked "you want a ride?" and the blonde answered "yes" and climbed in the back of the pick up.
As they were driving over a bridge the truck swerved and ran off the bridge into the water. The driver quickly got out through the window of the truck and waited up on shore for the blonde.
10 minutes later the blonde shows up on the shore. "What took you so long?" asked the driver. The blonde replied "I couldn't get the tailgate open."

There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When theygot about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no ideaway use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swimto a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunettetries to swim to shore. She gets about five miles off theisland's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decidesthat she will try. She gets about have way and drowns. Nowrealizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too. Now sheswims for hours. She gets to where she can see the shore but sheis so tired she decieds to turn around and go back. Sent by Evan

The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven." Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter' T'?" "Second, how many seconds are there in a year?" "Third, more...

three blondes stranded on a island. they find a lamp and rub it, a genii comes out he says you can have one wish each 1st blonde says i want to be 25% smarter so she gets a log turns it into a canoe and sails to shore 2nd blonde says i want to be 50% smarter so she gets a log turns it into a ship and sails to shore 3rd blonde says i want to be 100% smarter so she turns into a man and walks over the bridge.

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking.
Saul the banker says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I don't swim so well."
Morty remembered how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class when he was just a kid. So Morty is begins tugging Saul toward shore. After twenty minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 50 feet from shore, Morty asks Saul, "So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?"
Saul replies, "Morty, this is a hell of a time to be asking for money!"

While fishing off Myrtle Beach, a Yankee tourist capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do anything," the old guy said. "The sharks got' em."

Standing at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.
The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I can't swim! My wife's drowning! I'll give you $1000 if you save her!"
The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman, puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the
fisherman coughs up water, then says, "[cough] ok, bud, where's my' grand'?"
"But, this is my mother-in-law!"
The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck. Ok, how much do I owe you?"