Shortage Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school.
Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk!
Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony? A: When they came over to this country, they had "To NY" stamped on their foreheads.
A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?" The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a 'shortage'?" The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?" The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?" Finally, the American replies, "What's 'Excuse me?'"
Q: What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard? A: A ride on lawn-mower.
Why the British are more...

Four guys are standing on a street corner...an American, a Russian, a Chinese man, and an Israeli...
A news reporter comes up to the group and says to them:
"Excuse me...What's your opinion on the meat shortage?"
The American says: What's a shortage?
The Russian says: What's meat?
The Chinese man says: What's an opinion?
The Israeli says: What's "Excuse me"?...

Last month in preparation for the Earth Summit currently being hosted by
South Africa, the UN conducted a world-wide survey.
The only question was - "Would you please give your honest opinion about
solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure....

In Africa, they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solutions" meant.
In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

The big city sporting houses were hard hit by the housing shortage. One of them became so crowded on busy nights that it was obliged to entertain some of its customers on the roof. On one such evening, a client and his charming hostess became so excited they fell off the top of the building. Still locked in love's embrace, they landed on the street with a thud, barely missing a passing drunk.
The drunk staggered up to the sporting house door and knocked loud and long.
"Beat it," said the Madam, through a slot in the door. "We don't allow no drunks in here."
"I don't wanna come in," said the drunk. "Jush wanted to tell ya your sign fell down."

These Four Guys Were Walking Down The Street, A Saudi, A Russian, A North Korean, And A New Yorker.
A Reporter Comes Running Up And Says, "Excuse Me, What Is Your Opinion About The Meat Shortage?"
The Saudi Says, "Excuse Me, What's A Shortage?"
The Russian Says, "Excuse Me, What's Meat?"
The North Korean Says, "Excuse Me, What's An Opinion?"
The New Yorker, Says, "Excuse Me? What's Excuse Me?

Interviewer asks in America: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Shortage?' What's a 'shortage?'"
Interviewer asks in Poland: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Meat?' What's 'meat?'"
Interviewer asks in Russia: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?
And the reply is... " 'Opinion?' What's an 'opinion?'"
Interviewer asks in Israel: "Excuse me, what is your opinion
on the meat shortage?"
And the reply is... " 'Excuse me?' What's 'excuse me?'"

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London.' 'Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease,'' says the waiter. The Texan says,' 'What's a shortage?'' The Russian says,' 'What's a steak?'' The New Yorker says,' 'What's excuse me?''