Shotgun Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried. So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster- I've got to do something about this! He walks up to the new bird and says,' So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself.' Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definately thought he was more than a match for the old guy.' You're on', he said,' and more...
A lone tourist who is passing through the suburbs on the way to town by car, unfortunately experiences mechanical problems with the automobile. The car stalls and the tourist parks the car by the side of the road and waits for help. Not much later, a farmer happens to pass by with a truck full of farm animals. The farmer offers the tourist a lift to town and proceeds to explain that he is bringing his farm animals to the town market, where they will be auctioned off to the highest bidders. Well, it so happens that on the way to the town, the farmer being so engrossed in his story, unintentionally wanders into the other side of road where another vehicle is approaching in the other direction. The farmer realizes his absent mindness and attempts to avoid the possible collision with the other vehicle. He just misses the other car, but unfortunately crashes the truck into the side of the road. The tourist winds up thrown into a ditch and suffers broken ribs and a broken arm and leg and is more...
A person walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "I want coffee".
The waiter says, "Sure sir, coming right up". He gets the person a tall mug of coffee, and the person drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the same person returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and the bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "I want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the hell was that all about, anyway?"
The man smiles and proudly says, "Iam in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
Indian walks into a bar with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of Buffalo manure in the other. He says to the bartender: “Me want beer. ” The bartender says: “Sure Chief, coming right up. ” He gets the Indian a tall draft beer and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun, then he walks out. Four days later the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He walks up to the bar and says to the bartender: “Me want beer. ” The bartender says: “Whoa, Tonto, we’re still cleaning up from the last time you were in here. What was that all about, anyway? “The Indian says, “Me in training for job as federal employee; drink beer, shoot the shit, and disappear for a few days. ”
A small town farmer had 3 daughters. Being a single father, he tended to be somewhat over-protective of them. When gentlemen came to take his daughters out on a date, he would greet them with a shotgun to make sure that they knew who was boss.
One evening all of his daughters had plans. The doorbell rang, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show - Is she ready to go?" The farmer frowned, but decided to let them go.
The doorbell rang again a few minutes later, the farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm here for Betty, We're gonna get spaghetti - Is she ready?" The farmer frowned but decided to let them go.
The doorbell rang again after a couple of minutes. The farmer got his shotgun and answered the door. A young gentleman said, "Hi, I'm Chuck..." And the farmer shot him.