Shouted Jokes / Recent Jokes

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.
Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names.
"Shut Up", replied Shut Up.
"Stupid", replied Stupid.
The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief.
Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.
"Shut Up!"
"Stupid!"
The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!!
Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,"Why yes, how did you know?".

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety."Private," the officer said, "Im recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses.""Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"

A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn't know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted, "follow me" .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted, "Don't follow me" and went inside the class...

A man was buying a horse and was given a few simple instructions.
To make the horse walk, he would say "few."
To make the horse run, he would say "many."
To make the horse stop he would say "amen."
On the man's first ride all was going well. "few!" the man shouted and the horse began to walk. "many!" the man shouted and the horse began to run. But the man had forgotten the word to make the horse stop as it ran towards the edge of a cliff.
The man shouted in terror "Lord! Please save me! Amen!"
And of course the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff-face. The man then mopped his brow and said "Phew! that was clo- AAAAARRRRGHHH!!"

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of
people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across
Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner.When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection. Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent
the 72nd Street traffic into motion.Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this time she had again been joined by a crowd of people.Tweeeeeeeet! "Okay, pedestrians!"The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed put. She looked at her watch and tapped her foot but never budged from the sidewalk.Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the third time, the blonde shouted across more...

A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad.
The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he shouted "Avalanche!" The soldiers panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped.
The shopkeeper was led out next. As the soldiers took aim he shouted "Flood!" and escaped.
The teacher was then lead out. The squad took aim and the teacher, remenbering how the other two had escaped, shouted "Fire!"