Shouting Jokes / Recent Jokes
The couple has a small boy about three years old. One day they wanted to have sex. They couldnt let the boy see them. So the father told her son "Son I and mom had to do some theing important. Untill then why dont you go the the balcony and wait untill we call you by the time you can shout about the things you see from the balcony"
So the kid is satnding in the balcony and shouting about the things he see he says "there goes the milk man" "there goes the paper man" the father is shouting back from in side the house
"good son keep on going" Then the kid suddenly said "the neighbours Mr & Mrs Smith are having Sex"
The father got a shock hearing this he got dressed and came to the balcony and asked from the kid "Can you see Mr & Mrs Smith from here having sex?"
The Kid replied "No I cant see them, But there son is also in the balcony Counting vehicles"
A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."
DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."
MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."
DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."
MAN: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree"
DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts"
DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting): "Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the same to me."
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about more...
President Ronald Regan told this joke about Fidel Castro: Castro was addressing a large audience in Cuba, and he began, "They accuse me of intervening in Angola..." and a man going through the audience called out, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"Castro went on: "They say I’m intervening in Mozambique..." and the same loud voice shouted, "Peanuts! Popcorn! Castro continued: "They say I’m intervening in Nicaragua..." and the voice yelled again, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"By this time Castro was boiling mad and he sputtered, "Bring that man who is shouting' Peanuts! Popcorn!' to me, and I’ll kick him all the way to Miami." And everybody in the audience started shouting, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"
I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.
Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors
Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours
Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire
Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone
Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers
Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint
Heaven: motto - EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: motto - EDLP = Every day low prices
Heaven: Sam Walton - now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola - now on sale!
I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when the retire Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices Heaven: Sam Walton - now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola - now on sale!
An Israeli and an Arab tank collide. The Arabs run out shouting: "I surrender, I surrender!" The Israelis run out shouting: "Whiplash, whiplash!"