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An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water."That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks."As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls.The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water."Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist."Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"

A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."

The owner of a sausage factory was showing his preppy, arrogant son around the place. As hard as he tried to impress him, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory and the father thought, 'now this is sure to impress him'.
Showing his son the machine, he said, "Son, this here is the heart of the factory. With this machine here, we put in a pig and out comes sausages."
Still unimpressed, the snotty son said, "Oh joy!" Would you happen to have a machine where you can put in sausages and out comes a pig?"
Furious at his attitude, the father said, "Yes son, actually we do. We call it your mother!"

The big game hunter was showing his friends his hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on the floor he said, "I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to kill such a magnificent beast, of course, but it was either him or me." "Well," said a guest, "he certainly makes a much better rug than you would!"

On a sheet of paper, draw a picture of a pig.
Do your best.
Then scroll down and read the rest of this message.
Don't cheat, because if you do it won't work.
Draw the pig first and just follow the instructions, it won't take but a minute.
Have fun. This is quite interesting! You must not scroll down until you have drawn the pig.
Draw your picture. No cheating now. You will find this veryinteresting if you draw your picture first!
***
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE FRIGGIN PIG!!!
IT RUINS THE JOKE IF YOU DON'T DRAW THE PIG. IT
DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. JUST DO IT. IT'LL TAKE 20 SECONDS.
YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T DRAW THE PIG.
***
The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.
If the pig is drawn:
Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.
Facing more...

A young college student had stayed up all night for his zoology test nextday. As he entered the classroom he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack on each bird and only the legs showing.
He sat right on the front because he wanted to do the exam well. The proffessor announced that test would be to look at each set bird legs and give the common name, habitats, species, etc.
The student looked at each set of birds legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now had to identify rach bird by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally he couldn't stand it longer. He went upto the professor's desk and said,"What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?". With that the student threw his test on the professor and walked out of the door.
The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know his name, so as more...