Sinhalese Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three guys, one Tamil, one British and one Sinhalese are speakers at the 5th International Deaf and Dumb Conference at London's Park Lane Hilton Hotel.
Tamil guy gets up to speak but then realises none of the audience will understand due to their disability. He therefore places his hands upon his head abd waves them like antlers. Suddenly the audience all clap.
The British and Sinhalese guys wonder why the audience clap - the Tamil guy says the antler gesture meant "dear" etc. Envious at the Tamils skills of improvisation the British guy then gets up to the stage and does a similar gesture but rubs his breast and groin. The audience clap even more enthusiastically.
The other two guys ask him what he actually said by way of the gestures. He replies " Dear Ladies and Gentleman". Not to let his country down, the Sinhalese guy then places his hands upon his head in antler way, rubs his breast and groin and then proceeds to unzip his fly, and masturbate more...

I used to know this barbar for a long time. I alwasy cut my hair very short, because those days I used to play ruggby football. One I met this guy from jaffna whoes studing with me at Colombo university. Poor chap hardly speaks Sinhalese. So he came to me and said, Machang I need a hair cut so please take me to the barbar shop. I said O. K Lets go and I took him to this barbar shop and introduced Him to the barber. At that time there were few customers and I told My Friend I will back Later.
Once I came Back He was there with No1 Hair cut. I asked what happen. He said" that stupid Guy thought I need a short haircut like yours. So I asked Why dont You asked him to Stop. He said Yes I told him but he didn't stop until he finished with my hair.
I was so upset.
I went to the barbar and asked him why he get such a hair cut.
Barbar told me, I thoght he also need No1 hair cut like yours and
he din't stop me. Then I asked my friend what happen. He Said "I more...

3 people were on a boat travelling. A japanese, A white Canadian, and a Sinhalese guy.
All of a sudden the boat started to sink. So the japanes man took all the gold, and silver and throw it
overboard, so the Sinhalese guy said " hey why did you do that for"? The japanese man replied " we
have a lot of that in our country"
The ship started sinking so the Sinhalese guy threw his dirty clothes out. So the white man asked " hey why did
you do that for" So the Tamil replied " We have a lot of that in our country".
The ship kept sinking so the white man picked up the Sinhalese guy. Threw him over board. "hey why
did you do that", said the Japanese man.
" WE HAVE A LOT OF THOSE IDIOTS IN OUR COUNTRY"

There is a sinhala letter' gna' as pronounce in' Kompagna Veediya'. No match in English and try to pronounce' gna' as you pronounce the sinhalese letter in the eary school days.
Banada was a very innocent policeman and because of his character he was always assigned to do the road patrol duties in the night shift arround the Pettah vegetable market. He always feel sleepy as there is no activity in the market in his duty hours.
One day early morning he saw a bicycle approching him with few boxes in the back and he thought of stopping this man at least to keep his mood.
Navathapan. Umba koheda yanne me ude pandara?
Sir. Mama elovolu tikak geniyanava.
Boru kiyanna epa Banda ralahamita. Mata umba visvasa neha.
Kiyapan umbe nama.
Mage nama' Pagnasena'
Banda took his patrol duty book and trying to write the name. Tried many times but not that easy for him.
Umbata vena namak nedda.
Ne ralahami.
Hari Adata palayan. heta ehema enna more...

New Zealand indigenous people (Mauri) have a wonderful language. But very often Sri Lankan immigrants (especially Sinhalese) experience embarrassing situations when they have to pronounce common place names and street names (in public) that are in Mauri. The reason is that the word "Puke" is being commonly used. Here are some examples for place names.
Pukekohe
Pukerangi
Pukekewa
Pukehina
So, this is the story.
My Filipino friend recently moved into a new house in Pukeora Street. So I asked him "do you know what does puke mean in Sinhalese?" he said "no" and I told him the meaning. He started laughing without stopping for a few minutes and said, "our languages are very close!"
"Why?"
"Because in Philippine language' puke' means vagina!"