Sinned Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldnt know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and hed stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, Father, forgive me for I have sinned. The priest asks, What did you do? The woman says, I committed adultery. The priest says, How many times? And the woman replies, Three. Priest: Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more. A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, Father forgive me for I have sinned. What did you do? I committed adultery. r How many times? Three times. The priest says, Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more. The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks hes got it, so the priest more...

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says,' Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time'.

Pat enters the confessional and says,' Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman'.

The priest asks,' was it Mrs Murphy'?' no, Father', was the reply.

' Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was' No, Father'.

' Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said, Father, I'll not be teling you the lady's name!

So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman.

Back on the street, Mike said,' Well, how did you do'? Pat said,' Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects'!

Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says,' Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time'. Pat enters the confessional and says,' Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman'. The priest asks,' was it Mrs Murphy'?' no, Father', was the reply.' Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was' No, Father'.' Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said, Father, I'll not be telling you the lady's name! So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman.

Back on the street, Mike said,' well, how did you do'? Pat said,' Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects'!

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back." Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest." I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man." After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away." "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man." You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly more...

A judaic rabbi met a christian father and asked him how came theirs church is so big and so rich. The father told the rabbi about the confession and invited him to come and see how it is going.
On sunday the rabbi steps into church to set up the confession cabin near the father.
A young woman cames into the cabin saying "Forgive me father for I have sinned - I've ben with a man who is not my husband"
"You made a wrong thing my child" said the father.
"Put 10 in the way out pray every night and you will be forgiven"
The rabbi set their for two more confession and ask the father permission to try to take his place.
A young lady came into the cabin and sais "Forgive me father for I have sinned - I'v been with a man who is not my father."
"You made a wrong thing my child" said the rabbi "put 100 in the way out and you can do it ten more times"

Three guys found themselves in Hades: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4', dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard,' Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!' And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.

This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her.

The voice of the Devil was heard,' Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!' And Carl, like Brett, was whisked more...

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says,' Father, forgive me for I have sinned.' The priest asks,' What did you do?' The woman says,' I committed adultery.' The priest says,' How many times?' And the woman replies,' Three.' Priest:' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.' A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'' What did you do?' I committed adultery.' r' How many times?'' Three times.' The priest says,' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.' The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's more...