Skiing Jokes / Recent Jokes
A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died? ”
The 60 year old responded, “Did I say he was dead? ”
The doctor was surprised and asked, “How old is he and is he very active? ”
The 60 year old responded, “Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer. ”
The doctor couldn’t believe it! So he said, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died? ”
The 60 year old responded again, “Did I say he was dead? ”
The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active? ”
The 60 year old said, “He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a more...
A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain! So, how did you break YOUR leg??"
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who
answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed, " she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn.
And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to more...
One day a novice skier went up a mountain that any beginner should have avoided. No one would have blamed
her if she stayed behind. At 12 below zero, even Frosty the Snowman would have opted for a warm fire. Hardly a day for snow skiing, but her husband insisted. So she went.
While waiting in the lift line, she realized she was in dire need of a restroom. Assured there was a restroom at the top of the lift, she endured the bouncy ride, only to find there was no facility. She began to panic. Her husband had an idea: why not go out into the woods? Since she was wearing an all white outfit, she'd blend in with the snow.
What choice did she have? She skied past the tree line and arranged her ski suit at half-mast. Unfortunately, her husband hadn't told her to remove her skis. Inadvertently, she began sliding backwards across the slope, without a chance to make herself presentable. With arms flailing and skis sailing, she sped under the very
lift she'd just more...
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
On the first day of her vacation, a woman fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, "Why couldn't this have happened on my last day of skiing?"
He looked up. "This IS your last day of skiing."