Skiing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain! So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom.
No facilities nearby, she found a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.
Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards, out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.
The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. The doctor walked into her room.
Laughing hysterically, he said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!"
As he began to compose himself, he asked, "So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

After big tragedies the net often swims with humor about the people and event involved. Some people think this is a healing process, others find it in bad taste.

WARNING: DO NOT READ If think you might be offended by Sonny Bono death jokes.

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What do Cher and a 50 year old Redwood have in common?
They both got nailed by Sonny Bono. .

What's the difference between Al Gore and Sonny Bono?
One's a tree-hugging stiff...
and the other's a tree-hugging stiff.

That makes it...
TREES. ........ 2
Celebrites. ... 0

Death by snow:
Michael Kennedy,
Sonny Bono,
Chris Farley

What was the most surprising thing about the discovery of Sonny's body?
That he was recognized.

Why did Sonny die in a ski accident?
After being a mayor and a congressman, he wanted to be a Kennedy.

Police reported it was a quick more...

A while ago, I went skiing in England. It was a rare package: two weeks in England, one night in Connecticut, two weeks in England. I said, "Yes, I`ll take it." I got on this chairlift with this guy I didn`t know. We went halfway up the mountain without saying a word. Then he turned to me and said, "You know, this is the first time I`ve gone skiing in ten years." I said, "Why did you take such a long time off?" He said, "I was in prison. Want to know why?" I said, "Not really. Well, you better tell me why." He said, "I pushed a total stranger off a Ferris wheel." I said, "I remember you."

A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a more...

A 60 year old man went to his doctor for a check-up. "You're in great shape," the doctor told him. "There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you may live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. How old was your father when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?" the patient asked.
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
"Well, he's 81 years old, still goes skiing a few times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer," the patient replied.
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?" asked the patient.
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me that you're 60 years old, and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
"He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the more...

A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once more...