Slap Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two veterans were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ”
“Very good, ” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle. ”
“What was the jingle? ” asked the first.
“Oh, ” replied the other off hand, “just our medals. ”
There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking, `The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.`
Claudia Schiffer was thinking, `The Englishman must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.`
And the Irishman was thinking, `This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I`ll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard more...
The husband was reading a news paper. his wife who was washing clothes near the well at that time came to him and gave him a big slap. then the husband asked what's wrong with you lady, so the lady goes "who is Jane, i found this chit in your pockets the name Jane wriiten on it". then the man said " oh Jane, that is the name of the oldest chimpanzie in the world. so the lady new she had made a mistake and apologized for what happened and once again went to the well. about 10 mins later the lady came and gave him a another slap, so the man got really angry and asked what's wrong with you bitch. then the lady said "your oldest chimpanzie just now gave you a call"
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
“Why, my outfit was so well drilled, ” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click. ”
“Very good, ” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle. ”
“What was the jingle? ” asked the first. “Oh, ” replied the other offhand, “just our medals. ”
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." "Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle." "What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."