Sleepy Jokes / Recent Jokes
"I`m hungry."
(I`m hungry.)
"I`m sleepy."
(I`m sleepy.)
"I`m tired."
(I`m tired.)
"Nice dress!"
(Nice cleavage!)
"You look tense, let me give you a massage."
(I want to fondle you.)
"What`s wrong?"
(What meaningless self-inflicted psychological
trauma are you going through now?)
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
(I liked it better before.)
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
(50 bucks and it still doesn`t look any different!)
(While shopping) "I like that one better."
(Pick any damn dress and let`s go home!)
Women's English
YesNo
NoYes
MaybeNo
I'm sorry.You'll be sorry.
We needI want
It's your decisionThe correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you wantYou'll pay for this later
We need to talkI need to complain
Sure... go aheadI don't want you to
I'm not upsetOf course I'm upset, you moron!
You're... so manlyYou need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonightIs sex all you ever think about?
Be romanticturn out the lights I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenientI want a new house
I want new curtainsand carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper and...
Hang the picture thereNO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noiseI noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minuteKick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt fat? more...
Women's English:
Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm more...
Women's English:Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = NoI'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You more...
SERVANT: SIR THERE IS A THIEF IN OUR HOUSE.
MAN: TELL HIM TO COME TOMMOROW, I AM FEELING SLEEPY TODAY.
A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:
I'M HUNGRY.
I'm hungry.
I'M SLEEPY.
I'm sleepy.
I'M TIRED.
I'm tired.
I'VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.
WHAT'S WRONG?
I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this.
WHAT'S WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before.
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!
LET'S TALK, HONEY.
I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.
Confucius say:
-------------
. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
. Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
. He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
. Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
. Man who farts in church sits alone in pew.
. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
. Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
. Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
. Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
. Modern house without toilet uncanny.
. Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring.
. Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
. Man who have hand in pocket more...