Slid Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man went to a plastic surgeon to get work done on his penis. The doctor, curious, asked what had happened to it. "Well," the patient said, "I live in a trailer court. A gorgeous buxom creature lives in the trailer next to mine. I used to peek into her trailer and I saw that she had a habit. Each afternoon she'd take a frankfurter from her refrigerator and put it in a hole on her trailer floor. Then she'd sit on it and have a ball."
"She nearly drove me crazy. So I got a bright idea. One day I got under her trailer and when she slid the frankfurter into the hole, I slid it out and slipped my penis up through the hole." "She sat down on it and everything was great until there was a knock at the door."
"And then?" said the doctor. "Aw hell," the patient explained.
"That's when she tried to kick it under the stove."

Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, grabbed a baseball bat and slid it home.
All the people in the bar were watching, hooting and hollering, throwing money.
Five minutes later the second woman got up, lifted her leg, grabbed a bowling ball and slid it in.
People were going ballistic.
Finally the third women very casually got up on the bar and asked for a quarter. She slid it in..... and the jukebox starts playing.

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their
waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed
that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the
woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight
under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and
unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and
said to the woman, "Pardon me, madam, but I think your husband just slid under
the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he did not. He just walked in
the door."

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did not. In fact, he just walked in the front door."