Sliding Jokes

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did not. In fact, he just walked in the front door."

At a place where I used to work, there is a huge sliding door
The sliding door is operated by two three-button-panels. One inside
the building and one outside.
One button has a left-arrow on it, the button in the center is a red
one with the word "STOP" on it, and then there's a button with a
right-arrow on it.
1. When your are operating the door from inside the building (The
panel is to the right of the door):
1. If the door is open and you want to close it, then the right button is
the right button, the button in the center is an emergency-stop-button
and the button that is left is the left button.
If, on the other hand, the door is closed and you want to open it,
then things get a little trickier. Because now the left button is the
right button, the button in the center is an emergency stop-button and
the button that is left is... the right button.
2. When your are operating the door from outside the building more...