Smaller Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

There was a young couple living in a Nudist Colony when one day, their five year old son comes running up to his Mother.
"Hey Mommmy!", said her son, "Those things that Women have on their chests..how come some are bigger and some are smaller?"
Thinking a moment his mother said, "Well son, the bigger they are the dumber the woman is."
"oh", said her son,"Well, what about those things men have between their legs? How come some of THEM are bigger and some are smaller?"
"Well son", said the mother, "It's just the opposite. The bigger they are the smarter the man is."
Puzzled, the mother asked, "Why do you ask son?"
"Oh..well I just saw Daddy out back talkin' to this REALLY dumb woman and he's gettin smarter and smarter!"

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small.' 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband,' 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says,' 'I know how to make them larger!''

' 'How!?!?!?'' she asks.

' 'Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

' 'Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

' 'They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

' 'How did you know that?'' she wonders.

' 'I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''

Making the rounds of the maternity ward, a visiting obstetrician pointed to a child who was smaller and more fragile than the rest.
"What's wrong with that one?" he asked the head nurse.
"Nothing, doctor," she replied. "He's a test-tube baby, and they tend to be smaller than others ".
"It just goes to show," the obstetrician said sagely, "spare the rod and spoil the child."

An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, "Tony, why you-a such a fat-a fuck?" Tony says, "Poppa, it`s-a Mama`s spaghetti! I can`t-a stop-a eating it." Poppa says, "You should-a take-a smaller bites!" Then Poppa says to his middle son, "Michael, why you-a such a fat-a fuck?" Michael says, "Poppa, it`s-a Mama`s lasagna. I can`t-a stop-a eating it, it`s-a so good." Poppa says, "You should-a also take-a smaller bites." Then Poppa says to his youngest son, "Fredo, how you-a stay so slim-a and-a trim-a?" Fredo says, "It`s-a so easy, Poppa. I eat-a lots and lots of-a pussy." Poppa says, "Pussy? Pussy, that`s-a taste like shit!" Fredo says, "Poppa, You should-a take-a smaller bites!!

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

Guess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.

There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.

1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

2) We're on a mission from God.

3) People on' ludes should not drive.

4) This house is clean.

5) Shall we play a game?

6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.

7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.

8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.

10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.

11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be more...