Smear Jokes / Recent Jokes

BAD JOKES... READ WITH CAUTION

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man more...

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Senior Citizens

This could go in true stories: An 85 year old who had never been to a doctor
before, as he proudly announced, came to the office for a check-up. He thought
it was about time. The doctor (that's me) said,
"What did you do to live so long and
stay so healthy?" He said, "Well, whatever it was, it wasn't listening to the
likes of you!!"
Another one: During my residency, we offered a free Pap smear clinic. Well, a
nurse brought in her elderly mother to have a Pap smear because she had never
had one, or an internal exam for that matter. She had her kids at home
without benefit of medical attention. She was maybe 80. (The daughter was 60
or so.) Well, the daughter held her hand and talked her through the ordeal of
her first pelvic exam just as a mother might with a teenage girl. After it
was over, I said something to lighten things up like, "Now that wasn't so bad
was it?" The old lady said, "No, it more...