Snail Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.
He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road, into a field, away from his property.
Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn't find anyone there when he answers.
He looks down, sees a snail there.
The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands, -
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.He glances down, sees a snail there and being the conscientious gardener he is, tosses the snail across the road, into a field, away from his property.Ten years go by, and one day the man hears a knock at the door, but once again, doesn't find anyone there when he answers.He looks down, sees a snail there.The snail looks up at him, and in a tiny voice demands, - "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

One Sunday morning John stepped out onto the porch in his bathrobe to pick up his newspaper. He noticed a snail on the paper, so he picked it up and flung it across the front lawn onto the sidewalk.
On another Sunday morning, about two years later, John was out on the porch again to pick up his paper, when he noticed a snail on the paper. It was the same snail.
Bill looked at the snail. The snail looked at Bill.
Then the snail said: "Now, was that REALLY necessary?!"

What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

There once was a snail who drank a truckload of ale and got drunk.
Later the snail crawled onto a tree and got busted for being a druggie. It turned out that it was the guy he crawled on looked like a tree because he was out cold.

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and noone is there. He looks all around and he finally sees alittle snail sitting on the doormat.
He picks it up andthrows it across the street into a field. Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on hisdoor. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snailsitting on the doormat.
The snail looks up and says, “What the hell was that allabout? ”