Snail Jokes / Recent Jokes

What does the snail say when he gets on the turtle?" Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.
So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it be possible to have the "Z" replaced with an "S"?" The dealer said yes, and it was done.
And, as the snail raced around the city in his brand new car, everyone would see, "Wow, look at that S-car-go."

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it be possible to have the "Z" replaced with an "S"?" The dealer said yes, and it was done.And, as the snail raced around the city in his brand new car, everyone would see, "Wow, look at that S-car-go."

The doorbell rings and a guy answers his front door and finds a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and tosses it out into the yard.
Two years later, the doorbell rings and the man answers the door and there is the same snail. And the snail says, "Now, what was that about?!"

Two postal workers had just gotten off their routes for the day when one of the postal workers saw the other step on a snail.
"Why did you step on that snail, Tom?" asked his perplexed co-worker.
"Cause that darn snail's been following me around work all day!"

Q. What does a female snail say during sex?
A. Faster, faster, faster!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!