Snakes Jokes / Recent Jokes
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said ‘Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned? ’.
Then the second Snake says “Why do you ask? ”
The 1st one replies: “I just bit my lip! ”
Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply"? They couldn't, they were adders!
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
Once santa and banta were travelling to agra. when they reached the station they saw that there was a great rush in the train. santa asked banta that in such arush how will we sleep? Banta told him not to worry. then banta brought two snakes and left the compartment. in few minutes, the whole compartment was empty and they sleept cooly. next morning when they asked the tea vender that which station was that? He replied delhi. then they asked didn't the train start? He said that the train went but this compartment didn't go because last night two snakes had entered this compartment.
After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the
animals to leave, he told the animals "To go forth and multiply."
All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the
ark.
"Why can't you go forth and multiply?" demanded Noah.
"We can't," answered the snakes. "We're adders."
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not more...