Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do a lawyer and sperm have in common? They both have a one in a million chance of being human.

A
man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shot
gun. "Open the safe!" he yells at the girl
behind the counter.
"But we're not a real bank" replies the
girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money".
"Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow
your head off!" She obliges and opens the safe
door.
"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"
"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies
nervously.
"Don't argue, just drink it" he says.
She prys off the cap and gulps it down.
"Take out another one and drink it too!"
he demands.
The girl drinks another one.
Suddenly the guy pulls off the mask and to the girl's
amazement it's her husband...
"Not that damn difficult, is it?" he says.

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl At the front desk says to him:
"Thank you for coming."

two scientests are working on an expierement. they have 4 worms and 4 jars. in one jar is sperm. another is alchohal. third is smoke. fourth one filled with dirt. they come bac after 24 hrs the one in the sperm, alchohal, and smoke are dead the one in the dirt is alive. this is what it teaches you if you have sex drink and smoke u wont get worms

once there was this burglar that broke in a sperm bank, he said to the main office person that he needs to see the sperm, so she goes back and shows him, whn they get back there, the burglar says "DRINK IT" so the lady does, then when she gets done the burglar says "see honey, it's not that hard"

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What did the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A: How the hell do we find the egg in all this shit?