Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white? A: So men can tell if they are coming or going.
a man finding himself unemployed and down to his last $1.00 was searching the want ads for a job. He pointed out to his wife that there was a ad in the paper for blood donations for $25.00 dollars. They decided to spend their last dollar on bus fair to the blood bank. They needed the money if they were going to eat. So the man spends his last dollar on the bus to town. When he arrived at the blood bank the line was a block long. He knew he had to wait so he could collect his money for the donation. while waiting in line he noticed a banner on the bulding across the street. " GRAND OPENING SPERM BANK " Donations $50.00 Dollars! He begain to think, "if i stand here they will stick me with a needle and it will hurt but....if i go across the street i will go into a booth and... besides it was twice the money!!!
So he hurrys across the street and gets in line at the sperm bank. After a few minutes he notices in front of him a woman...he begins to think..."she must more...
Why is sperm donations more EXPENSIVE than blood Donations?
Because its HANDMADE!!!
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
A. They don't stop and ask for directions.
Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have more...
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor. "As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say,' I'm a Sperm.' She will answer,' I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?" The sperm nodded affirmatively.
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm!"
The red sticky ball more...
As all the sperms were awaiting the big swim, little Freddy was being briefed by one of the elderly sperms. He said to Freddy, "Now you have to swim as fast as you can if you want to be the first one to the egg, and when you do get there, you have to say out loud, "Hello, I'm a sperm." And if you are the first one there the egg will reply, "Hello, I'm an egg." And then you can enter into the egg." So when it was time for all the sperm to start swimming Freddy swam as fast as he could without stopping. He was sure he was nearly there. He turned around to see how far back all the others were, and saw that they were very far behind. As he swam he suddenly found himself in a big moist chamber. He then saw a big round ball, so he swam right up to it and said, "Hello, I'm a sperm." He waited for it's reply. It then said, "Hello, I'm a tonsil."