Sperm Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mom of an 8 year old boy was awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn't understand the answer to that "million dollar question". Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman?
The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was. The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man's stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth.
The mom told her boy that that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint...that the sperm came out of the man's penis.
Suddenly, the boy's face became quite red and he said, "YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!!??"

How are lawyers like sperm? One out of a million turns out to be a human being.

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl At the front desk says to him:"Thank you for coming."

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample.
So the girl At the front desk says to him. " Thank you for coming."

One day an elderly man decided that since he had never fathered any children that he would make a deposit to the local sperm bank. At the sperm bank a young doctor gave the man a jar and told him to go into the bathroom and put his deposit in it.
After what seemed like a long time the young doctor began to worry about the elderly man so he went to the bathroom door and knocked and ask if he was all right. No answer came from beyond the door so the doctor opened the door finding the elderly man breathing hard and sweating.
The Dr. asks, "Are you OK!"
The elderly man replied, "Son, it is not as easy as it use to be. I have slapped it, spit on it and beat it on the wall. I even ran hot water on it, I ran cold water on it and I can't get the lid off this jar to save my life!"

An
85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count.
The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample.
The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty
jar.
"What happened?" says the doctor.
"Well," the old man starts, "I asked
my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then
her left - nothing. Then she tried with her mouth,
first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out,
still nothing. We even called Evelyn, the lady next
door, but still nothing."
The doctor bursts out, "You asked your neighbor?"
"Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get
that damn jar open."

What's the difference between mayonaise and sperm? Mayonaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.