Spirits Jokes

BaptistryA church's swimming pool. Designed by a finance committee
with a concern for cutting costs.
Blind FaithObsolete phrase meaning visually challenged faith.
BurnoutWhen clergy start preaching from the telephone book. The
result of extreme overwork or excessive stress. Hiding the telephone
book is not a sufficient treatment.
CampingA specialized ministry traditionally offered in the
summertime. Often directed at young people. Theologically, it has the
potential to teach valuable lessons about the Israelites' 40 years in
the wilderness. This is usually thwarted by the tendency of churches
to place their camps in swamps, rather than deserts.
Candlelight ServicesA time when otherwise sensible choirs wander
around in darkened churches singing with fire in their hands. Not
surprisingly, this has been known to affect the quality of music.
Canon LawAn ancient arms limitation treaty.
CassockShort for "clergy hassock". more...

The following is a humorous story reported in the Manchester
Guardian some time in the late 1970's.
Ben McTaggart, a farmer in the Scottish Highlands, was apprehended by the
local constabulary after a routine inspection of his croft
revealed an illicit whisky still.
McTaggart appeared in court next day to face charges of evading
payment of excise duties and the illegal manufacture of alcoholic
spirits. Reviewing the facts of the case before pronouncing verdict,
the magistrate declared -
"Mr McTaggart, you have been found in possession of apparatus commonly
used in the distillation of alcoholic liquors. Although this equipment
was unused, and no trace of spirits could be found on your premises,
the intent of the apparatus should be clear to all, and I am obliged to
find you guilty of all charges brought against you in this court. Before
I pronounce sentence, do you have anything to say in mitigation of more...

your mamas so fat jesus cant even lift her spirits.

Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis was admitted to the hospital after being shot twice. He is recovering nicely and said to be in good spirits.
Not in good spirits is Davis' teammate Terrell Owens. Fuming after reading of the safety's blatant attempt to grab a headline Owens shot himself 3 times, did some sit-ups in his driveway and demanded a trade.