Splat Jokes

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers. What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up. What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait. What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?" A centipede with a wooden leg. What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog. What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz. What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing. What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile. What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies. What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping. What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.

There were 3 basketball players, one each from IU, Notre Dame, and Purdue, standing on a burning roof in Indianapolis. The fire department came with a blanket and yelled to the Notre Dame player to jump. He jumped and they moved it to the right. He hit the sidewalk with a splat.
They then called to the IU player to jump. He said that he wouldn’t jump. They said they liked IU better than Norte Dame. So he jumped and the fire department moved the blanket to the left. The IU player hit with a splat on the sidewalk.
Then they called to the Purdue player to jump. He said that he wouldn’t jump. The fire department said they hated IU and Notre Dame. He yelled back, “Lay the blanket down on the sidewalk, and then I’ll jump! ”

What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

PROGRAMMER'S POEM! *''# ^"`$$-! *=@$_ %* ~#4 &[]../ |{,, SYSTEM HALTED The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit: Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.