Splat Jokes / Recent Jokes

!*' ' #
^''`$$-
!*=@$_
%*~#4
&[]../
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED

To read out loud...:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick dash
Caret quote backtick dollar dollar dash
Bang splat equals at dollar underscore
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash
Pipe curly-bracket comma comma crash

Two Irishmen are standing on the top of a cliff, looking out over a huge
drop to the rocks below.
One turns to the other and says, "OK, Paddy, a pact is a pact. We're
going to do it, right?"
Paddy says, "If you tink we should, Murphy, I'm with you all the way. As
you say, a pact is a pact, but you go first."
Murphy thinks about this for a moment, then says, "But you'll be right
behind me, yes?"
"Oh, yes, Murphy. I'll do it, but I want to watch you first."
"OK then Paddy. I'm going. Goodbye!"
With that, Murphy takes a budgerigar out of his coat pocket, ties some
string around its legs, and straps it firmly onto his head. He steps
forward to the edge of the cliff, and throws himself off.
The budgie flaps its wings like mad, but to no avail. It can't hold the
weight of a thirteen stone Irishman in the air by itself. Murphy falls
splat, and breaks both legs on the rocks.
Paddy more...

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis looks like a grand place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'.
As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, more...

The text of the poem is as below:
^"`$$ -
! *=@$ _
%*< ~#4
&((../
|{}, , SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.