Springs Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to more...

Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.

In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Excelsior Springs: Worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Kansas City: Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited. Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters. Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law). Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law. Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited. St. Louis: A milk man may not run while on duty. University City: Four women more...

Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.(Dumb Laws - California)

THE LAST WORDS OF THE THREE NUNS FROM THE CHURCH OF FREE CALIFORNIA Written by David Fowler 1 The sisters of the Church of Free California take a vow of silence for all the days of the month, save one. On that one day a month, the sisters are free to talk all day and as much of the night as they care to stay up. It is sad to report that it was temporary release from their vow of silence that led to the demise of three sisters in the San Bernardino Diocese. They got the day off together and it was their talking that got them killed. Just before the traffic accident, Hope, Faith, and Charity were riding in a car owned by the Diocese. Now the Church of Free California is poor and relies on donations for its needs. People do not donate new cars to the church. They don’t donate cars to the church that can be foisted off on someone teenager in lieu of having to buy a car for the kid. Those cars donated to the Church of Free California are the ones that can’t be sold after six months of more...