Squad Jokes / Recent Jokes
The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson's Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: "Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself." "By shooting?" reasked the company commander, "Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible."
When asked what he thought about the new squad radio, one Army sergeant told the man from the R&D agency: "This squad radio should be replaced with a good whistle."
Little grandson asked: "Granddaddy, when you were in the Army and were posted as sentry at night, were you afraid?" "I was, grand sonny, but only until I fell asleep."
An inmate on death row was scheduled to die before the firing squad the following morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were very nice to him. But, when they asked him if there was something specific he wished to have for his last meal, he said he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It continued like this all day.
Finally, when he was put before the firing squad the guard asked if he would like a cigarette and a blindfold.
"No," the inmate said, "just get it over with."
"Is there anything at all I can do for you before you go?" asked the guard. "You didn't even request a special last meal!"
The inmate thought for a moment, and replied, "Well, actually, music is my life. The one thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, without any interruptions."
The guard nodded and told the inmate to go more...
Did you hear about the Polish firing squad? They formed a circle.
A Bama alum, a Tennesse alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad.
First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, "Ready, aim...."
The Bama alum yells "Sandstorm!" and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away.
The Tennesse guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said "Ready, aim.....";
The Tennesseean shouted " Tornado!!!!". All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped.
The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted "Ready, aim...."
The Aubie shouted "FIRE!"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are all about to be shot by a firing squad. The redhead goes out first and stands in front of them. Right before they shoot, the redhead screams, "Tornado!" The firing squad turns to look, and the redhead runs away.
The brunette is up next, and decides it would be a good idea to to do the same thing that the redhead did. So, just as the firing squad is about to shoot, she screams, "Earthquake!" The firing squad looks around for a moment, distracted, giving the brunette just enough time to run away.
Then the blonde comes up and decides to copy the redhead and the brunette. Just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the blonde screams, "Fire!"
Three people were facing the firing squad: Hussein, Bin Laden, and Bush. Hussein was first and just as the squad is about to fire, he screams "EARTHQUAKE!" the firing squad hides and Hussein runs away. Next, Bin Laden comes along and just as the firing squad is about to fire, he screams "TORNADO!" the firing squad hides and Bin Laden runs away. Last is Bush and he thinks what to say so he can get away finally he thinks of something and as the firing sqaud is about to fire, Bush screams "FIRE!"